So its been a little while since my last post and there is a few reasons for that. Starting a new job for one, because as exciting it is, it’s also like an anxious person’s living nightmare. I had a panic attack in my car […]
So I’ve done a few posts now, and given you a few different sides to me and my life. But today I decided to do something a little different. Have a look through the questions and ask yourself what would your answers be… I had […]
As people we are taught to be strong, to not cry and particularly as British people, to not show our emotions. It is almost built into our infrastructure that if something bad happens, we only have a certain amount of time to grieve that situation, and we must do this whilst being strong for everyone else around us.
Someone has to say it though, it is really hard to be strong sometimes. I know we have to move on, we have to accept that life happens, and sometimes life is really rubbish. I always think about someone out there who is going through something worse, and handling it better. Now, this doesn’t sound like the healthiest way to deal with it, because I need to be fair to myself, to my situations and understand that struggling or crying or feeling panicked, are all normal reactions. Sometimes, it just feels as though there is a pressure on everyone to recover instantly. Work expect the best a week after, friends expect the same person, and family let the subject fade away, but a small flame remains lit until overtime that just goes out.
I know I am not speaking for everyone in this position, I know that this is just the way I feel about this, but this is one of the ways I like to let go. It allows me to not just let the subject fade but recognise that there was a problem, that there was a tragedy or a struggle, but that I will get through whatever it is. Over the past year I have come to realise that without being positive, or at least trying to be, life starts rush by with no warning. Before you know it you have spent too long wondering why you didn’t go on that trip or why you didn’t go out to meet your friends because you didn’t want to leave the house that day.
My family have just lost our uncle, brother and son. It was unexpected, shocking and well, to be honest heart breaking. But I know if I can take one thing from this, it is that my uncle always lived life to the full. He had passions, he had ambitions and he surrounded himself with love. I don’t know how to cope with losing him, I don’t know how to handle grief or if there is a wrong or right way to move on, but I do know I won’t let myself forget to live the way he wanted life to be lived.
I am a crier. I’ll cry at films, at John Lewis adverts and at the x factor sob stories. But there is a difference because the tears that fall when you hurt, when you really truly hurt don’t just cause your face to become wet, they cause your heart to hurt, your body to ache and your mind to completely fall to the mercy of your emotions. To see my family, or friends, go through this when you know there is no easy fix this is the hardest thing any person can ever do.
A hug, a “its going to be ok” or “you just need to be strong” can start the healing, but it can’t take away that pain. It will always be it ok to cry, to let it out, it is just about learning when to stop, learning to manage and recognise the positives in your life. Whenever I feel sad or I feel a panic attack coming on, I list in my head what I am lucky to have in my life. It helps me put into perspective my darker thoughts because sometimes when you are stuck on a thought that is bringing you down it is really hard to move past it on your own.
As cliche as it sounds, it really is ok not to be ok, because everyone handles things in different ways, everyone gets sad and everyone cries (even if they don’t like to admit it). List those things that mean the most to you, find that glimpse of happiness that can overshadow those thoughts you’d rather have stayed away, because that is the only way I know how to move on, and I believe it could be the way others move on to.
Yes that’s right…. My terminal unemployment will finally be coming to an end starting March. If this teaches you anything then let that be with hard work, lots of applications and a little bit of luck, you will get where you want to be. Whilst […]
With the news of an Irish couple recently winning over a 100 million pounds in the New Years day Euromillions, it got me daydreaming to what life would be like if I was in that position. Like how does someone even contemplate having that much […]
Mental health is something that affects every single person, whether it is through watching someone else struggle, or struggling yourself, it is an underestimated and terrible disease.
I can say that I am someone that has been through depression and anxiety, and I continue to live with this on a daily basis. However, I am one of the lucky ones because I have the most amazing support system around me making it easier to live normally everyday. However, for those who don’t have that, it seems that celebrities, and influencers, as much as they are trying to help, reach out when they themselves are unobtainable.
I understand that these people we all follow on Instagram, who live these glamorous lives, who have ridiculous bodies, and who sell this dream with their #ad. However, it appears that more and more they are also tapping into this rising conversation about mental health. They have different sides to their life, I am not disputing that, but it is hard for someone who isn’t in that privileged position, who doesn’t have that support system, and who frankly is at their lowest, to relate to these people. Don’t get me wrong, I know that any conversation about mental health is a positive step to reducing the stigma that comes with it, but I feel that society sometimes needs to take a minute and really think about how this delicate topic should be approached.
For me, actions do really speak louder than words. I am no saint, and I could definitely do more to help people, but an Instagram post from an influencer is not something that I consider to be helpful for this topic. However, if they were to show their support by doing a fundraiser, or perhaps volunteering, then maybe it would start to feel more like a community rather than this opinion that the people who have thousands of followers must be the voice of reason.
My point is, I just really don’t want people to start to think that mental health is this glamorous way of life, or to think because they have had one stressful day that they have chronic anxiety. It is still a serious illness that can’t just be spoken about on mental health day, but on every day. I don’t claim to be an expert on this topic, and I certainly don’t believe that I am, but the more I learn from my own experiences, and the experiences of those around me, the more I realise how this is a problem that is more relatable than so many people may think.
“Mental health is not real”, “it’s in your head”, “why do you get so stressed?”. Now for anyone with mental health, these statements can be the most demoralising, frustrating and ignorant things to hear. If it isn’t real then why is there medication for the illness, why are there numerous studies! I once had a prep interview with a recruiter who asked me what made me resilient. I responded with the best answer I could think of. During my third year of university, I struggled with depression, bullying, and anxiety, but I continued to push through and I obtained my goal of a 2:1. This is my proudest achievement and yet her response was that this wouldn’t be a good answer because the employers would be put off by the mention of depression. I think is just a small example of a much bigger problem. We can all say that the stigma is decreasing but the problem is still so detrimental to so many people.
I just think that if everyone was a little kinder, a little more inquisitive with their friends, and a little more open to all possibilities, then the littles would add up to a massive help. This includes me, I need to ask my friends if they are ok more often and not just take fine as an answer, I need to call my family more and make sure they are doing ok, and I need to make more of an effort to start to work with my depression and anxiety. The absolute worst thing I could do, or anyone could do, is to let this illness define who you are, and what you want to be. Because of my support system, and the strength of those around me, I have tried to not let the anxiety prevent me from living my life. I know it’s easier said than done, and I know that it is not a step that can be taken lightly because others struggle far worse than I do. But it is something to think about.
The reason I wanted to talk about this is to break down this barrier of what mental health is made out to be. It is not a trend, or something to tweet about on one day of the year, but something that every single person can do more to help with. I am sure that some people look at these long posts from celebrities and find comfort that someone so fortunate can struggle as well. And I get that. But for me it is about looking closer to home, about making sure it is not something that is aspired to but something that we can educate people on more and more as the conversation gets wider. We are all affected in some way, so lets be kind, spread some hugs (ok I know everyone doesn’t like hugs but I am a hugger) and be happy!
So today is my first blog, wish me luck, I might need it. I graduated in 2017, yes 18 long months ago and since then it has been a struggle, to say the least. I thought once you had a degree you had a superpower […]